Hey!

How ya doin'? We're just swell, thanks for asking. Is there anything that you've been dying to know about the Labybird Sideshow but were afraid to ask? Is there any information that you think we've thoughtlessly left off of our website? Do you want to know whether our hands smell like chocolate milk or mustard? Well here is your chance to be brave and post a question. Send your questions to ladybird@ladybirdsideshow.com, and we might just post your question and our answers right here on our fancy website.

Much love to you,
The 'birds

P.S. For the record, Janine, Erin and Lisa's hands all smell mostly like chocolate milk, possibly due to the amount of chocolate intake while on tour. Melissa's hands most often smell like mustard. We believe that it's due to her ravenous appetite for Salt and Vinegar chips. But on the day this question was posted, Melissa's hands also smelled like chocolate milk.

Zara Ahmed, Toronto-ish ON: If you were a cat would you be the tail-less kind? Why or why not.

Janine: Specifically, I think I would be an inbred Scottish Fold. Tail is about ¾ the length of your everyday kitty. Tiny little thing with a lot of personality and just enough mental retardation to be perpetually content.

Erin: I would definitely be a cat who has a tail. The cat-itude they give off is all tail man.

Melissa: I would hope to have a big fluffy tail. Like the cat from Alice in Wonderland.

Lisa: No... I'd like to be a sphynx cat. They're hairless and wrinkly and super fun. People put sweaters and hats on 'em 'cause they think they're cold. Sphynx cats are known for their extra friendly personality, even though they're so weird looking. I like that.

Zara Ahmed, Toronto-ish ON: Have you ever gotten your tongue stuck, like...REALLY stuck, on a popsicle or other frozen dessert? If so, what were your means of escape? Any scars that aid this answer should be prominently displayed. *Please do not use this question as a forum for product placement.

Janine: No. But I wish that they would bring back the Jello Pudding Pop.

Erin: Hell yeah. I've never seriously been stuck to a pole, but I've been stuck to many a popsicle in my day. Usually I just panic and end up peeling half my face off.

Melissa: Never happened, but I did get 200 canker soars on my tongue at the same time. I couldn't eat for two weeks and had to suck luke warm liquid through my teeth. I couldn't speak and had to write everything down on a pad of paper.

Lisa: No, but I got my tongue stuck to the metal handle of a screen door once. I remember getting stuck, but I don't remember how I escaped. Mom... can you answer that one?

Zara Ahmed, Toronto-ish ON: Do you ever have moments/days/alternate reality hops when you are struck with a sense of disgust or shame or just general anxiety, surrounding the idea that pursuing a performance art as a career might be the greatest ongoing act of masturbation you could ever attempt?

Janine: All the time. I’m always teeter-tottering between wanting to make a career out of art and then feeling like the whole business and idea of it is absolutely absurd and inorganic. On one hand, making music for a living would mean I wouldn’t have to answer phones and stuff envelopes on a weekly basis. I could tour around and play music. But what about the anxiety of whether or not people care? That in any given moment you could be the lamest thing since the invention of money? The public is fickle. I’m fickle. And sometimes when I think about the absurdity of walking a straight line when there’s so much to see if you veer off the heavily tread path, then I imagine myself living with very little possessions, worrying less and just having good people around me. Maybe someday I’ll find the right balance to satisfy both inner extremes. Writing songs for a living. Good, smart songs. Stuff that won’t numb the nugget. That’s where I see myself.

Erin: It might feel like such an ongoing act, if it weren't for the fact that you have to work so hard and take so much in the chin as a performing artist. When we perform it's absolutely blissful, but behind the scenes there are countless hours of administration, long drives, paperwork and uphill battles of all sorts. But we get through all that because we adore each other and what we do so much. I guess the sheer fact that you have to really want to to work to be able to do this sort of thing cancels all potential for behaving like princess pop-star pants.

Melissa: Masturbation is fun.

Lisa: see above answer.

Zara Ahmed, Toronto-ish ON: Favorite three chord progressions?

Janine: F Em Am, G D Bm A (mix it up a bit), B A G E (as power chords)

Erin: Any three 7th and 9th chord progressions. I'm totally addicted and have been trying to ween myself off of 'em.

Melissa: C G F

Lisa: The one where your index finger is on the third string on the second fret... and your middle finger.... Oh fuck it. I can never remember the names of the damn things.... Let's just say the three that I play all the time.

Jason Stoll, Mississauga ON: Can you come play at my house?

Janine: Uh… no.

Erin: Sure. Will you make us pancakes?

Melissa: Who are you?

Lisa: Can I bring my dog?

Jeff Kahl, Mississauga ON: What’s your favourite record to listen to on a Sunday morning/afternoon?

Janine: Generally I’ll spend Sundays cooking and baking elaborate things with the CBC on. Usually I’ll go for jazz radio. Occasionally I opt for classical or opera. Can’t really stomach the commercial stuff in a calming environment because it just frustrates me. In terms of records, I’m always in good hands with Joni, Ella, Paul or Patty.

Erin: Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald duet records. Cirque du Soleil soundtracks.

Melissa: Neil Young, Harvest

Lisa: I'm thrilled that you called it a 'record.' It's sad that soon there's gonna be a whole generation of kids who will ask; "what's a record?" That said, I'm usually listening to CBC on sundays (and other days too) but if I throw on some tunes it'll be some June Tabor or Bruce Cockburn or Jane Siberry or Shannon Lyon or... oh.... There's too many. Just come over on a Sunday to hear for yourself and I'll make you some pancakes.

Jason Kimelman, Toronto ON: Who would you choose to sing the soundtrack to your life - who's voice gets you?

Janine: I would write a musical and have all of the Ladybirds sing and perform with guest appearances by Michael Bolton, Michael Jackson, Michael Crawford, George Michael, Michael MacDonald and Ronald McDonald.

Erin: Stewart Smith

Melissa: Patsy Cline

Lisa: Haven't lived my whole life yet so I can't really answer that. Ask me again when I'm dead and I'll have a better idea.